I have to admit it: I
am a recovering perfectionist. My family might question
the "recovering" aspect but they would definitely
agree with by being a perfectionist! Since childhood
I have desired to do things perfectly and be perfect.
Since childhood, this desire has gotten me into trouble.
I have often reflected on the
passage "
you must be made perfect as your
heavenly Father is perfect" (Mt. 5:48). Striving
to be perfect seemed to be part of the natural call
and responsibility of being a good Christian. Yet, I
have found it a never-ending struggle that leaves me
more wearied than triumphant.
As I have aged, I have indeed
grown tired of trying to be perfect. A few years ago
I had an experience of conversion when I realized that
God does not require me to be perfect in the way that
I had thought. As a human being, I cannot be perfect
in the strict sense of the word; I cannot do everything
right. I cannot be God.
Perfection for God is being
in perfect harmony with God's true nature, which is
divine. Divine nature is unlimited, immortal, not tied
to physical realities, without sin, and unconditionally
loving.
Perfection for a person is
being in perfect harmony with his/her true nature, which
is human. Human nature is limited, mortal, bounded by
physical realities, sinful, and limited in loving. Human
perfection cannot be divine perfection. The sense of
this isn't immediate.
I believe that for me to be
perfect as God is perfect means to be in perfect harmony
with my true nature, as God exists in perfect harmony
with God's nature. I now like to define perfection as
being in complete harmony with one's true nature.
I think our human nature evolves
from our true identity of being creatures, sinners,
and beloved ones of God. When we can accept our creature-hood,
sinfulness, and that we are beloved of God, the I think
we have made inroads into being "perfect."
We can live in the truth of the nature in which God
created us.
Humans who strive to become
"perfect" by not accepting their limitations
or being at peace with their mortality and sinfulness
dance with idolatry. They are striving to become God
and are denying their true identity and nature.
God could have made human beings
"perfect" in the conventional sense of the
word. Who needs failings and imperfections? But, it
is through the very nature of our humanness that we
are dependent on God. We are the creatures and not the
Creator. God must truly have intended for us to be human,
and not just slipped up on forgotten to make us "perfect."
Jesus was the human being whom
best accepted the fullness of his humanity and all the
giftedness and limitations that came with it. Often
we struggle to accept ourselves as we really are, although
God loves us just as we are. God does not wait until
we reach a certain point of perfection before loving
us. Nor will God love us more once we improve.
Our call to be humanly perfect
means we are to accept ourselves as being loved by God
just as we presently are; to accept ourselves as being
limited and mortal creatures (not Creator) full of weaknesses
but also strengths and gifts, to accept ourselves as
being sinners who are in need of God's loving mercy
– as being forgiven sinners.
God made us perfectly human
and it is good.
SMT Rozga 10/3/00
|