~
by Sr. Mary Theresa Rozga
"Do you think I am
growing?" This is a question I often have posed
to me as I companion people on their faith journey.
Each time it is asked I find myself smiling. How preoccupied
we, Americans, are with productivity and growth! We
need to see concrete results of our labors before we
will be convinced that our efforts have been worthwhile.
Spiritual and personal growth
are not easily nor immediately quantifiable. We mistakenly
think that God will love us more if we are better -new
and improved, as our advertising world would say! I
truly believe that God cares more that we are engaged
in the journey toward growing in relationship with God
and others than where we actually are on the journey.
We tend to look for concrete
results of our growth. God looks at the desires of our
heart more than our bottom line. Often times our desires
outpace our accomplishments. I am reminded of St Paul's
lamentation: "I cannot even understand my own actions.
I do not do what I want to do but what I hate"
(Rmns 7:15). God is pleased with our attempts and probes
the depths or our hearts rather than the bottom line
of results. Often we need to be gently reminded that
God is much more patient with our process of growth
than we care.
So, we start the stopwatch
as we engage in the process of growing. Sadly we do
not realize that God does not "time" our efforts
to grow. We do not understand that in God's eyes we
all get a gold medal just by being willing participants
in God's life of grace. We all win. God does not grace
just the best and beautiful. We have a God who has a
special love for those of us who struggle (Lk. 15:3-7)
Fortunately spiritual and personal
growth is not based solely on our own efforts. I tried
for years to make myself perfect. I put considerable
time and effort into improving myself. Although there
was some growth I could always find areas that needed
more work. I was never satisfied (Sound familiar?)
2 Corinthians 3:18 reminds
us that we are being transformed by the Spirit into
the image of Jesus Christ. God's grace does the transformation
within us; we need to be willing partners in this creative,
growth-filled process. Grace, the self-communication
of God, is a free gift given o us. It is a precious
tool that we need to humbly embrace on our journey of
growth and transformation.
Just because w do not immediately
see the growth does not mean it is not happening. I
am reminded of this each spring. Right now the courtyard
here at the retreat center is bursting with spring blooms:
hyacinths, tulips, daffodils, and crocus. A month ago
there was bare ground and empty spaces where now there
are obvious signs of growth and new life.
Often our growth is unseen
by us until someone else sees our "fruits."
This is because our vision of our present reality is
myopic. It is usually only when we look back over the
past year(s) that hindsight can help us to see where
the change and growth have occurred in our life. Faith
invites us to trust that god is present and actively
engaged in transforming us even when we do not see any
evidence of growth.
We are a work in progress.
The masterpiece of God's loving grace is unfolding gradually
on the canvas of our life. Our call is to be eager cohorts
with God in our journey of growth. Throw out the stopwatch
and enjoy the goodness of your life as it unfolds!
SMTRozga
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